Ladies, ladies, ladies. Stop going out of your way with the sole intention of getting his attention, too often. Sure there are times when you need to make an effort to attract a man, but you shouldn’t make a career out of it.
How about him going out of his way for you? Has that crossed your mind as well? It should have. The reason is because if you’re the only one going out of your way for him then that becomes a draining situation. Draining for you and filling for him. It becomes a one way love street. And one way love never works!
If your relationship is going to bloom and flourish then the two of you need to be putting work in. The two of you need to be reciprocating similar intentions towards one another.
Ladies, if you reciprocate and he doesn’t, reciprocate no more! If you continue to reciprocate and he’s not, all you are doing is empowering him and feeding his ego. He will never value you because even though he does nothing for you, you do everything for him.
In a relationship, the person you’re in a relationship with, shows you how to treat them. And they show you how to treat them by how they treat you.
If you treat him how he treats you, he will either love you, learn to love you or leave you. Ladies, don’t be afraid of the third outcome. If he leaves you because of the way you treated him, then it’s because he was treating you that way. Know your worth, don’t treat a man in a way that he doesn’t or never treats you.
You may be thinking, I’ll treat him good and eventually he’ll learn to treat me good as well. No! What he will learn is to take you treating him good for granted. A man shouldn’t be your man if he doesn’t treat you as he should. That is, treat you good and much more.
A man who doesn’t reciprocate good to you treating him good is still a child and he’s looking at you as his mother. That is, no matter how a child treats his mother, he knows that she still loves him and will be there for him, unconditionally. That’s great, for a child! However, that’s terrible for a “man.”
IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE HIM
Don’t think you’re going to change him. You’re better off exchanging him. Does that sound bad? It’s not supposed to. It’s supposed to sound hopeful. Hopeful because he’s not the only one out there for you. It’s hopeful because you’re not his mother, so you’re not obliged or obligated to love him unconditionally if he doesn’t love you unconditionally.
A man will always treat you as you show him how to treat you. For example, a man’s respect for you will only be as high or as low as the respect you demand from him. So, if he belittles and disrespects you and you accept it, then you’re telling him that’s how you want to be treated. But I know, that’s not how you want to be treated. However, by you accepting and tolerating disrespect and belittlement from him he perceives that as you being okay with it.
But you’re not, right? Then treat him as he treats you. It’s not that you necessarily have to disrespect and belittle him as well, two things that men detest greatly, but you don’t have to accept it. You leave the situation. You leave him! Absolutely you must set a standard of acceptance in a relationship. It’s the only way you will be fulfilled in a relationship. Otherwise you’ll just be hoping that he “changes,” “gets better,” or you’ll be trying to convince yourself, “that’s just how he is, but he loves me.”
If you treating him as he treats you sounded bad, which it shouldn’t of, then here is the other side of the coin. If you treat him as he treats you, then imagine how wonderful and amazing your relationship will be if he treats you good? Then consequently you’ll treat him good. If he treats you like a queen, then you’ll treat him like a king. If he values you , then you’ll value him and so forth.
However, if you continue to treat him as he should be treated, rather than how he treats you, the winding road may always be winding and never binding.
ADJECTIVE OF WINDING: having a curved or spiral course or form; spiral, as stairs.
DEFINITION OF BINDING: A material or device used to bind.
And as always we like to close with a saying, quote or adage and today’s is: HOW HE TREATS YOU IS HOW HE WILL CONTINUE TO TREAT YOU, UNLESS YOU DON’T TREAT HIM THE SAME.
Now, go forth and change the game!