It comes without question that most of us in life want to be useful. We want to be useful to ourselves and useful to those around us, primarily to those closest to us. That is why we learn new skills, take on new tasks, develop our networking skills and so much more. So that we can be of use. But how to be useful without being used in a negative way?
There are certainly occasions where people attempt to take advantage of our usefulness and straight out want to use us in ways that do not benefit us at all. But Is there ever an occasion or occasions where it is okay to be used? Some people think so. Or else, how would you know if you’re useful if you don’t get used?
HOW TO BE USED BENEFICIALLY
There are boundaries that need to be set if you’re being used in a mutually beneficial way. Being useful without being used negatively or coercively involves setting healthy boundaries, practicing assertiveness, and maintaining self-respect. Below we list 8 tips on how to be useful without being used in a negative way.
1) Know your worth: Understand and appreciate your own value. Recognize your skills, strengths, and unique qualities. This self-awareness will give you a sense of confidence and prevent others from taking advantage of you.
2) Set clear boundaries: Establish boundaries that define what you are willing and unwilling to do. Communicate these boundaries assertively and respectfully to others. Be firm in enforcing them to avoid being taken advantage of or manipulated. Build boundaries and stick to your principles.
3) Learn to say “no”: It’s important to say “no” when something doesn’t align with your values, interests, or capabilities. Don’t feel guilty about turning down requests or opportunities that you genuinely can’t or don’t want to fulfill. Remember, your time and energy are valuable.
4) Prioritize yourself: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make time for activities that rejuvenate you, such as exercise, hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in activities that bring you joy. Nurturing yourself helps maintain a healthy balance in your life.
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5) Be aware of manipulation tactics: Learn to recognize signs of manipulation or exploitation. Be cautious if someone consistently disregards your boundaries, tries to guilt-trip you, or takes advantage of your kindness. Trust your instincts and distance yourself from toxic individuals.
6) Practice assertiveness: Assertiveness involves expressing your needs, desires, and opinions in a respectful manner. Clearly communicate your thoughts and feelings without aggression or passivity. When you are assertive, you establish your position while also respecting the rights and boundaries of others.
7) Evaluate relationships: Assess your relationships and determine if they are mutually beneficial. Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and reciprocity. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are and support your personal growth.
8) Invest in personal development: Continuously work on improving yourself and acquiring new skills. This empowers you to contribute in meaningful ways and increases your value to others. By investing in your personal growth, you become more self-sufficient and less likely to be used.
ALWAYS KEEP THIS IN MIND
Remember, being useful and helping others is not inherently negative. It’s about finding a balance between supporting others and maintaining your own well-being.
By setting boundaries, practicing assertiveness, and prioritizing self-care, you can be valuable without being taken advantage of.
WARNING ABOUT BEING USED
If you’re being used, make sure it benefits you as well. Don’t expect gratitude from the people who are using you. There’s a famous quote, “Gratitude is a burden most people would rather not bear.”
With that said, bear in mind that many people will have hidden agendas as to why they are using you. Don’t set yourself up to be taken advantage of or be taken for granted. And one of the best ways to assure this is to make sure that there is a high return for you being used that does not compromise your moral values and who you are as a person.
Keep this in mind as well. A sure way to know that you are being used in a detrimental way to you is when there is no reciprocity. That is, you are getting nothing of value in return for you being used. If this is the case, either renegotiate the agreement to benefit you as well or walk away. You want to be used, not misused. Being misused is exhausting.
And as always we like to close with a saying, quote or adage and today’s is: IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU’RE GETTING USED FOR AND WHAT YOU GET IN RETURN.
Now, go forth and change the game!