How to get a girlfriend is not difficult. Sure there are some fundamental things that you need to do, but they are absolutely doable. In this blog post we will share tips with you on exactly how you can get a girlfriend.
It is important to know why you want a girlfriend. For example, if you want a girlfriend because you want to build your self esteem, then you need to build your self esteem first. Another example, if you want a girlfriend so that you can receive validation from friends, peers or family then you need to work on validating yourself first.
Getting a girlfriend is not about others, but about you and her. You need to not be looking for a girlfriend with the approval of others in mind. If you feel strongly about her and want her to be your girlfriend then that’s the validation you need, not that of other persons. Now, the challenge is, does she feel the same about you?
HOW DOE SHE FEEL ABOUT YOU?
The fundamental thing in getting a girlfriend is getting a feel for how she feels about you. Yes, you feel strongly about her, to the point that you want to make her your girlfriend, but how does she feel about you?
The reason why this is so important is because if she has no feelings for you, does not see you in the light of boyfriend, then you are up against a battle that you have little to no control over. You know the saying, “pick your battles.” It applies in this regard as well when it comes to pursuing a girl to make her your girlfriend.
HOW TO CONVINCE HER
If there is one thing that you don’t want to do is convince a girl to be your girlfriend. That is because even if you’re successful in the short run, it’ll likely not work in the long run.
One of the things that will happen if you have to “convince” her to like you is that there will always be an imbalance in the relationship. The imbalance will be that she will always hold that over your head that she is with you because you convinced her to be with you. You don’t want to convince a girl to be your girlfriend. You want a girl to want to be your girlfriend.
IS THERE AN EXCEPTION?
There are occasions where women have been persuaded into being a person’s girlfriend and it worked out. However, those cases of success are an exception. And in many of those cases those men who have successfully convinced women to be their girlfriend had the leverage of financial advantages. That is, they offered the girl they were courting financial incentives. For example, the security of a home, car, vacation, etc.
Convincing a girl to be your girlfriend is something we strongly advise against.
DO THIS INSTEAD IF YOU WANT HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Before you go falling head over heels for her, get a feel for how she feels about you first. What is meant is that you need to have a gradual approach to find out if she sees you as a potential boyfriend for her. Follow the 5 steps below on how to get a girlfriend to give you your best chance of success..
1) DROP SUBTLE HINTS VIA COMPLIMENTS
When you are around her, compliment her. Don’t overkill and don’t do so every time. But certainly compliment her.
The best compliments to give her are the organic and in the moment ones. For example, if you noticed that her hair is different from what it usually is, compliment her on how beautiful you think her hair looks. Or for example, if you’re at an outing or party and she’s dressed nicely, let her know with a compliment.
PAY ATTENTION TO HOW SHE RECEIVES YOUR COMPLIMENTS
It is important for you to note how she receives your compliments. A girl can say a lot about how she feels about you based on how she receives your compliments.
How did she react after you complimented her? Did she say thank you? Did she reciprocate with a compliment? Did she give an impression that she felt weirded out about your compliment? All of these are things that you need to analyze after complimenting her.
You want to be aware of her reaction because they will dictate and indicate how you move forward on how to make her your girlfriend.
2) CONVERSATE WITH HER
If she’s going to be your girlfriend then you are going to have to talk to her. Preferably, face to face conversation is best. In an in person conversation you will notice many things that will help you gauge the likelihood of making her your girlfriend.
When you see her you need to shake off your fear of approaching her and approach her. You may need to have an ice breaker to start off the conversation, but once you talk to her you’ll see that words and topics will come to you that will keep the conversation going.
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Also, if she’s interested in you too, she will have her own questions to ask you.
But don’t be afraid to approach her. This is important for you as well because you need to get a feel of who she is as a person. If she’s someone you would even want to be your girlfriend. Maybe she doesn’t have the personality that you want in a girlfriend. Therefore you need to speak with her and find out that as well.
HOW ABOUT PHONE CONVERSATIONS?
Phone conversations are a good way to engage with her and can lead to an in person conversation. However, be mindful of not keeping her on the phone for too long. Sometimes discussion topics on the phone don’t flow as well as in person.
What we recommend is that early on in the pursuit is that you keep the phone conversations short. This will peak her curiosity for an in person conversation.
HOW ABOUT TEXT MESSAGES?
Text messages can be tricky because it can be hard to express context in text messages. The message(s) can be ambiguous. That is, they can be misunderstood. Plus, if she doesn’t like you, that will be harder to detect in a text message.
For example, if she leaves you on read, the next time you text or see her, to be polite, she may just say, oh I got busy and I was unable to text you back. Via text messages it can become a really tricky thing.
Therefore we advocate in person conversations and the second best option is limited phone calls.
3) INVITE HER OUT
Assuming that steps 1 through 2 are going well, you now have to invite her out. If you want to make her your girlfriend you need to ask her out. The out does not necessarily mean at night or to a restaurant. It can be to go on a hike, out for coffee, etc.
Inviting her out will give you a great understanding of her willingness to be your girlfriend. If she is willing to go out with you, that is a strong indication that there is a possibility that she may be interested in you.
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4) BE WELL DRESSED AND GROOMED
You should always make it a habit to be well dressed and well groomed, especially when you’re around the girl you like and want her to be your girlfriend.
How you dress is important to her, but it’s also important because she is concerned as to how her family and friends will view you, as far as how you dress. Women are thinking about these things, so you should too.
The same goes for your grooming. Make sure you keep up with your haircut and beard. Also, make sure your nails are cut and clean. Very important. Keep your mouth fresh by brushing your teeth before you meet her and keep some breath mints with you.
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IT’S NOT HOW MUCH THE CLOTHES COST, IT’S HOW YOU WEAR THEM
What makes your dressing appealing to her isn’t necessarily the price tag. It’s how you wear the clothes, how you match the clothes, etc.
Please, please, please. Don’t wear clothes with holes in them, clothes that are faded, dirty, etc. Be on your best clothes game when you’re around her.
5) ASK HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Now that you have gone out with her a few times, it’s time to ask her out.
After going out with her a few times, you should have a hunch of whether she would date you or not. Be real with yourself. How much interest did she show in you during your outings? How engaged was she during the conversions you had with her during your outings.
Remember, she doesn’t have to say no to you for you to know that she is not interested. You asking her to be your girlfriend should be something you do pretty much already knowing that she is going to say yes.
WHEN NOT TO ASK
If you have doubts or are not sure then you did not pay attention to the vibes she was showing you throughout the interactions that you both had.
Only ask her to be your girlfriend if you know she is going to say yes. If you don’t know that she is going to say yes then you are putting yourself up for unnecessary embarrassment and rejection. Take our word for it, you will know whether she will say yes or no before asking.
If you believe she is going to say yes, ask. If you believe she is going to say no, don’t ask. Keep it moving and take the skills and lessons you learned from pursuing her to another girl who is willing to be your girlfriend.
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?
Getting a girl to be your girlfriend should not be some arduous task where you are going through hoops and doing everything in your power to impress her and court her. No. That’s not how it works.
You never want to be doing all of the work and waiting on her to simply decide if she will accept or reject your proposal. Be more prideful than that.
You have to be confident in yourself and your approach. If she doesn’t see the good that you have to offer her, don’t try to convince her. That never works, in the long run. And if it does, you didn’t court her to be your girl. You pressured her to be your girl.
You want the girl to want to be your girlfriend willingly, not by pressure.
And as always we like to close with a saying, quote or adage and today’s is from Lala Anthony (video below): YOU HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO READ THE ROOM. SOMETIMES GUYS DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ THE ROOM.
Now, go forth and change the game!